People often ask me how and why do I do it? I respond, “Because I have a responsibility to make others feel welcomed, just as others have done for me.”
They are referring to my ability to welcome over 20 people or more for dinner, routinely. Thankfully, I don’t do it alone and everyone does his or her part.
Our family provides the main dish, a couple of vegetable sides and a few drinks. Everyone else is invited to bring an appetizer, a dessert, a side or drinks. There is no rhythm to the flow. People arrive and set their contribution on the large kitchen island.
Ahead of time, I set out the napkins, disposable plates, cups and cutlery. I make sure the bathrooms and main areas are relatively clean and inviting. We briefly say a thankful prayer before the meal, being mindful that not everyone may be of the same faith.
Everyone casually helps themselves, and we all have meaningful conversations about life while the children play outdoors. That’s a typical day of gathering at the Chavez household.
I grew up in a family of seven and an occasional dog. When I was five years old, my father bought our family a home in Texas while he struggled in his professional life as a teacher. My mother, a stay-at-home mom, always made sure there were parties at our home, even when finances were not looking good. However, the best events were at my grandparent’s home.
Our family would head up to Colorado where my mom’s side of the family had immigrated to in the 1960s. Once school was let out for the holidays or vacations, we would drive up from El Paso. With an extended family of over 65 people, those celebrations became a learning opportunity.
I saw people interacting and being there for each other. Traditions and customs of Mexican heritage were passed down at these gatherings. My grandparents passed away a few years ago at 91 and 92 years of age, but even in their late years, they still enjoyed having people visit and making ordinary days into celebrations.
I am so thankful that their congregating gene was passed down to me, although it took my husband a little time to adjust and appreciate it. Gathering people over a meal has been the most meaningful and rewarding skill I have mastered as a citizen of this earth.
Are you feeling disconnected? I encourage you to try it. Graciously welcome people to join you in this life. Who knows? We may someday be at the same table sharing a meal.
If you are willing to try it out, here are some useful tips:
- Be personal and do life with others of different backgrounds.
- Don’t have any expectations.
- Be casual more often than formal.
- Solicit help ahead of time. For example, schedule a home cleaner or buy prepared meals from your local grocery store or bakery.
- Allow the children to entertain themselves while you learn more about your neighbors.
Mona Chavez
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